Chris Bales

I have needed this break for 8 weeks and now that it is here and more than halfway over, it has not satisfied my need for rest or distanced me any from stress. Since Sunday I have spent most of every day in transit, riding the train from Chicago to South Bend or South Bend to Chicago. On Tuesday I was prepared to go back to Chicago, do my homework the rest of the week, and get some rest. I had agreed to give Ryan Cox a ride to the city because he needed to go to the Korean Consulate in order to get his visa approved to enter Korea. He couldn't find a ride to the train station and this arrangement actually worked out pretty well for me as well because I could drive my car to the train station and he could drive it back.
That was until I was on my way to pick Ryan up and I received news from my mom that my dad had fallen down in my grandpa's hall on the way to dinner and he couldn't get up. She informed me that an ambulance was on the way. I asked her what I should do and she told me just to go back to Chicago. I figured I should stay, but there was nothing I could do and I also had the added moral dilemma of having agreed to take Ryan to Chicago. Though I'm sure he would have understood, given the circumstances, I didn't want to let him down.
So I picked him up and we set off to Chicago. I had a mind full of worry and a sense of wasted time. I decided early on that the only proper thing to do to ease my tension would be to get fairly drunk and take some pain killers. Ryan, on the other hand, calmed his nerves with a light round of drinks and by taking more Ritalin than I think I have ever seen anybody take in one sitting.
In the morning, he went to the consulate, had an interview that lasted all of three minutes, and returned to my dorm. By then I had decided I should be back in Syracuse to see my dad and help my mom. We set out on the next available train home. Another senseless, useless trip to Chicago for me. My second one in three days. This week has had me on a roller coaster of wasted time.
I haven't been in the same state for more than 12 hours since Sunday. It is wearing on me. Living in transit has stressed me out completely. I haven't even looked at my school work, which I must say, is mounting. I originally intended to spend 5 hours a day on it for my entire break and even that would have been cutting it close. I will probably look back on this break with a huge amount of disappointment, but I also can't really see what I could have done differently.
Now that I'm back home I may have to leave again sooner than expected just to secure a way back to Chicago since my mom really isn't going to have time to get me to the South Bend airport to catch a train. If I don't catch a ride early tomorrow I may not have one, so now I'm doubting that I should have come back. Seems wherever I am I feel like I should be someplace else. I can't settle. I am unable to settle.
I will spend this evening with my dad, this night doing homework, and then I don't know. Hopefully I will be able to get out of town tomorrow.